The 2nd DUMB DORA Awards (Part One)

"No matter how cynical you get,
it's impossible to keep up"
- Lily Tomlin

Barely had I cleared away the streamers and confetti from my first Dumb Dora Awards celebration than new nominees started presenting themselves. "No!" I cried. "It's too soon! Shouldn't there be at least six months between awards ceremonies?" I resisted, but it soon became apparent to me that ignorance follows its own timetable.

Over and over again, I was astonished by routine displays of arrested intelligence among Gay activists. I saw idiocy on parade; buffooneries by the dozen; lunacy galore! There were clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right, each new one more embarrassing than the one that came before. Believe me, darlings, I was simply spoiled for choice!

Yet somehow, I did manage to choose, narrowing down ten winners from scores of finalists. Now here we are again, gathered together to honor the dishonorable; my eyes glisten with tears as I watch my presenters line up behind the imbecile's podium, holding the dreaded tin jackass statuettes. These tokens of contempt will all be in the hands of deserving recipients when this evening is over. Conductor, cue the orchestra; stagehands, draw back the curtain! Let the 2nd Dumb Dora Awards begin!

The Dumb Dora Award for Carelessness goes to
Wayne Besen

Wayne Besen is the founder of Truth Wins Out, an organization dedicated to debunking the “ex-Gay” movement. He routinely sends out press releases to announce his lectures. A few months ago, he appeared at an event sponsored by CRANE, a group based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. CRANE promotes itself as an advocate “for Charlotte’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, queer(sic) and intersex” citizens. Besen included this motto verbatim in his latest press release, ignoring the derogatory usage. Such uncharacteristic carelessness puzzled me, so I emailed him with my concerns.

He defended himself by saying he’d merely quoted CRANE’S mission statement. I cautioned Besen against letting sexual slurs slip out in his publicity materials. He was unrepentant, stating: “I don’t like the term (queer). It appears in nothing I write. However, other people have a different view of the word . . . I was not going to come into a town as an outsider and tell people what they can and cannot say. That is the kind of thing that causes unnecessary infighting . . . so, for today, ‘queer' shall survive.”

I was appalled! Later in our email exchange, he accused me of “creating battles (among Gay activists) where none need exist.” If anybody ought to know better, it’s Wayne Besen! Nobody’s more familiar with the tools “ex-Gay” ministries use to advance their ignorance. Their main vehicle is the concept of Gay people as “queer”! The idea that we are abnormal reinforces harmful myths, fuels internalized shame and sabotages our equality struggle. Does it matter whether our enemies or our allies are the ones embracing this false concept? No! The damage is just as great either way.

Wayne Besen has temporarily lost his grip on reality! Nothing could be more absurd than saying you’re against doing something, then doing it while still claiming to be against it! Nothing could be more wrong than ranking unity in the Gay Rights movement higher than the goals of the Gay Rights movement. Gay activists cannot indulge in the casual use of sexual slurs for any reason! What’s more, we must denounce their casual use whenever and wherever it occurs. Besen must do this if he wants his brand of activism to be 100% effective. Then he’s got to walk the damn talk! Until he’s ready to do that, there’ll be a Dumb Dora Award with his name on it.

Here's an excerpt from an email I sent to Wayne Besen, in response to his accusation that I'm divisive:

Future generations of LGBT folk are counting on us. We may not be able to leave them a legacy of full equality, but we can at least leave them a legacy of dignity. I did not grow up with that legacy, and my God, how I missed having it! I was bashed repeatedly as a child, both physically and verbally. I had to endure being called "queer", "f*ggot" and "p*ssy" before I was even ten years old! That's how I was perceived. People felt they had a right to slur me because society failed to promote respect for effeminate boys. I try to promote respect for LGBT folk with everything I write. I don't want to be responsible in any way, shape or form for another child having to endure those hurtful labels . . .

Trying to fight the oppressor while simultaneously inviting him to speak and think of your kind as "queers", "f*ggots" and "d*kes" is both tragically dumb and the biggest waste of time and resources there ever was. We’ve ceded over half the battle to our enemy . . . don't we want future generations of LGBT folk to experience lives that are better than what we live today? That won't happen if we pass down to them a concept of LGBT identity as "queer". We'll only have helped future generations of heterosexists to marginalize them. If it's not about making conditions better for those who succeed us on this planet, Wayne, then what's the (expletive deleted) point?

The labels we use are every bit as important as the lobbying we do and the funds we raise. Hell, they’re more important! We have no damn right calling ourselves Gay Rights crusaders unless we use and promote language that's uplifting. Uplifting language, not only in the judgment of an elite cadre of ghettoized activists, but in the judgment of mainstream society. The language of our oppressors will never meet that standard. Never!

My feelings haven't changed one iota since I sent him this message.

The Dumb Dora Award for Irresponsibility goes to
The Advocate

In an online Advocate feature dated 10 March 2009, "queer comedian" and “Big Gay Sketch Show” cast member Jonny McGovern is showcased. Calling himself "The Gay Pimp", McGovern specializes in “"f*gsploitation” comedy. He shamelessly trades on crude stereotypes (both racial and sexual), ugly sexual slurs and harmful myths in his podcasts and many musical satires. He's known for using the word "f*ggoty" to describe anything Gay-related. His offensive brand of humor is tailor-made for our enemies on the Right Wing, and I'm sure they enjoy it no end!

McGovern and his ilk are to Gay equality aspirations what Depression-era actor Stepin Fetchit was to Black equality aspirations: A ball and chain that drags us backward! They take cheap shots at their own kind and make careers off the worst kind of minority group burlesque. They’re cut from the same cloth as profit-hungry writers and producers in Hollywood who cynically exploit LGBT folk for crass comic relief; these craven opportunists are traitors to the Gay Rights movement. Focus On The Family should consider putting them on salary! Just one of their retrograde routines (like McGovern's “Girl, I F*cked Yo' Boyfriend”) does more to advance that organization's reactionary goals than a whole month of anti-Gay church sermons!

The Advocate is totally irresponsible to publish laudatory puff pieces on Uncle Toms like Jonny McGovern. It's shocking to see this magazine, once a proud vehicle for furthering equality goals, degenerate into a frivolous lifestyle publication that will stoop to any low (nude photo shoots, lead stories on Gay polygamy, male escort profiles, sex toys on the magazine cover, etcetera) in order to pump circulation figures.

To me, "f*gsploitation" humor amounts to a section of the Gay populace raising the white flag of surrender to our oppressors. It sends a message that we're OK with the marginalization, OK with discrimination and brutality, OK with not being taken seriously as human beings. In fact, we're so OK with it, we'll help it along! We'll make the oppressor feel comfortable with his anti-Gay attitudes. We'll serve him up a heaping helping of those "f*g" stereotypes he loves so much.

Lord, deliver me! As if we didn't have enough to do, defending ourselves from the religious Right Wing, from the macho knuckleheads and fascist politicians, we've also got to contend with Fifth Columnists: Sensationalism-courting minstrels like Jonny McGovern and the so-called Gay-friendly media that gleefully promotes their Uncle Tom-foolery and Aunt Jemimah antics. Sometimes, the forces of ignorance seem overwhelming! Only with God's help can we triumph against such daunting odds. This is The Advocate's second trip to the imbecile's podium; how much do you wanna bet it won't be the last?

The Dumb Dora Award for Self-Loathing goes to
Michael Musto

Check out these excerpts from a 30 March 2009 column that gossip guru Michael Musto posted at his Village Voice blog:

There are a lot of differences between the various generations of queers(sic), like how the older ones grew up reading Cosmo while the newer ones only bother with serious financial digests and video games . . . old queens(sic) grew up with very little Gay visibility in the media . . . the younger Gays have grown up with queer(sic) iconography everywhere they turn . . . the younger queers(sic) may have far less sense of history about them, but probably a far greater chance for happiness . . . . these are all gross generalizations, but as an older queen(sic), let me tell you, they are totally true!

Musto was trying to say something about progress here, but his internalized shame and thinly-veiled loathing for Gay identity kept getting in the way! My pal, Rev. Jerry Maneker, posted a response in which he tried to raise consciousness about shame-based usage. For his trouble, a Musto defender accused him of riding a "high horse" and spreading so-called political correctness. Let me get this straight, now: Being thought "politically correct" is the most horrible thing since Nazi Germany, right? So in order to avoid that transgression, we should feel free to slime our Gay brothers and sisters with vicious, misogynist labels like "queer", "d*ke" and "queen"? To be sure, there’s something queer up in here, but it ain’t Gay people; it’s bizarro logic!

There are far worse things in the world than so-called political correctness: bigotry, for example. Michael Musto and his defenders might as well be bigots, since they love the language of bigotry so much! I'd rather ride a "high horse" every damn day of the week than wallow for one second in the filth of ignorance and self-hatred. Jerry's attacker also had the chutzpah to claim that Musto exhibits ”absolutely no shame with his sexuality.” Somebody who identifies as an “old queen”, devoid of shame? Who does he think he's fooling?

The word "pride" means something; you can't just say you have it. You've got to demonstrate pride in the way you talk and act. Nobody with pride ever refers to himself and his kind in such a dehumanizing way! Shame on The Village Voice for letting Michael Musto get away with these slurs. This is another example of mainstream American media showing its contempt for LGBT folk(for yet another example, see Part Two of this post). If an African-American contributor wanted to casually refer to Black people as "n*ggers" and "coons", the editors would never allow it; but obviously, anything goes as far as the Gay population is concerned!

Internalized shame isn't unique to Gay people. Jews suffer from it. Asians and Latinos do, too. There's certainly plenty of internalized shame in the Black community. Women haven't escaped its clutches, either. Yet there's just no comparison to LGBT folk, who wave their shame like a banner for all to see, insist that sexual slurs and stereotypes are expressions of pride, and encourage mainstream media to embrace them. The level of denial is just unprecedented!

However, that denial often amounts to a paper-thin veneer, and Michael Musto's shame-based usage proves as much; his supposedly benign epithets can turn hateful all too quickly. Around the same time he penned the aforementioned post, he appeared on MSNBC's "Keith Olbermann" show and stated that former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani "looks like a tranny". The nasty smirk on his face made it abundantly clear that he was not paying Giuliani a compliment! In the retrograde world Mr. Musto lives in, LGBT identity is freakish and always ripe for ridicule. He's a Gay ghetto anachronism, an embarrassing throwback to the pre-Stonewall, "pansy craze" era; he and his mindset belong in a museum exhibit, not in print and not on TV.

The Dumb Dora Award for Offensive Talk goes to
Station KJHK in Lawrence, Kansas

No low is too low when it comes to the phenomenon of "f*gsploitation" media. The newest purveyors of this pestilence are Gay shock jocks Ryan Campbell and Sara Thompson. They host an envelope-pushing music and talk entry that broadcasts on Kansas University's Station KJHK. Their show has built a reputation for snarky political humor and dirty jokes with a homoerotic spin. "I love being on the air," crows Ms. Thompson, "and I think our ability to turn everything into something sexual is pretty amazing." Pretty adolescent, too!

A reviewer recently described her program as "quirky and sexually-based . . . with raw humor and opinions." One of the rawest things about it is its title: "The Dick 'n' D*ke Show"! This filthy take-off on the name of a classic 1960s sitcom appealed to the twisted sensibility of Ian Hrabe, KJHK's current music director. "KJHK really needed some diversity," Hrabe claims, "and I think Sara and Ryan break up some of the monotony." Nothing says diversity like anti-Gay slurs, huh, Ian? A talk show whose Gay hosts identify themselves with four-letter profanities for penis and vagina fits the bill perfectly!

When not indulging in potty mouth dialogue, Campbell and Thompson feign legitimacy by touting local Gay bars and paying lip service to current events like California's Proposition 8. They also play lots of what they call "queer(sic) music" by "obvious artists" like, uh . . . Madonna? "We're a sassy talk show," brags Campbell, "and queer(sic) people should try to listen, because this is for them." Oh, I agree! Anybody who thinks Gay people are queer will love a fringe talk show like this; it does an excellent job of reinforcing stereotypes, and everybody knows how essential those are to Gay empowerment!

When a college radio station dares to put something so offensive on the air, and a college administration sanctions obscene monikers, somebody should call the FCC! Predictably, I learned about "The Dick 'n' D*ke Show" via a puff piece in The Liberty Press. That's Rev. Fred Phelps' home state Gay newspaper, don't you know? This sexual slur-ridden rag features columnist Sheryl LeSage, a Lesbian who opines that it's no big deal when Rick Warren compares Gay couples to pedophiles. No wonder the Phelps clan feels so at home in Kansas!

Quiet as it's kept, hardcore heterosexism has a home in Hollywood, too. Openly Gay actors continue to be shut out of leading roles, and projects which portray LGBT folk in a serious light still lack for funding; even so, the movie industry jumps at every chance to exploit Gay stereotypes for profit. Case in point: The mockumentary Brüno was released to movie theatres last weekend. Sacha Baron Cohen's festival of "f*gsploitation" humor outperformed every other current release at the box office. Its popularity, just like that of "The Dick 'n' D*ke Show", proves once again that people will crane their necks to gawk at a messy accident. Why, though, must LGBT dignity so often be a casualty in these entertainment media train wrecks?

The Dumb Dora Award for Ironically-Named Organizations goes to
Gay Shame
Beware of an organization known as Gay Shame, which promotes itself as a "radical alternative to Gay Pride." One of its spokespeople, Matt Bernstein Sycamore, articulated the group's political stance in the Summer 2002 edition of Slingshot, a radical rag out of Berkeley, California. "Gay Pride has become little more than a giant opportunity for multi-national corporations to target-market products to Gay consumers," he complained. "Many of the companies in attendance at Pride mask reactionary agendas in order to court the Gay dollar: Right Wing Coors and Phillip Morris, union-busting Budweiser, and the old standbys, drug companies like Bristol-Myers-Squibb and GlaxoWellcome, who always choose profits over people's lives (especially people with AIDS)."

The group's criticism is valid, but its solution is anything but! "Gay Shame is committed to fighting the rabid assimilationist monster of corporate Gay ‘pride’ with a devastating mobilization of queer(sic) brilliance," Sycamore boasted. He went on to describe a typical Gay Shame action that took place in San Francisco: "We turned Tire Beach into our queer(sic) autonomous space for the day . . . we encouraged people to participate in creating their own radical queer(sic) space, and people argued about political issues, created visual art, poured concrete and made a mosaic, dyed hair, mud-wrestled naked and had sex . . . over four hundred people trekked out to Tire Beach to join in the festivities."

Some months later, Gay Shame staged an event in the Castro neighborhood. "Hundreds of queers(sic) dressed to excess and jammed Harvey Milk Plaza and blocked Castro Street for several hours of dangerous glamour." My, what a crippling blow was dealt to corporate encroachment that day! When not devising dubious ways of battling Wall Street corruption or paying lip service to other Progressive concerns, Gay Shame stays busy proclaiming public sex a Civil Right. When lewd acts, burlesque shows and Mardi Gras-style revelry masquerade as serious social activism, you have an excellent example of why Progressive politics lack credibility.

Gay Shame is indeed shameful! It's a group of exhibitionists who respond to the vapidity of Gay Pride celebrations with their own brand of vapidity. Which is worse: Organizations that allow themselves to be co-opted by oppressive corporate interests, or organizations that hijack legitimate social issues to use as vehicles for mindless hedonism? I think it's a toss-up.

If certain people prefer hedonistic revelry to serious social activism, I'm perfectly OK with that. Really, I am! I just don't like it when those people try to convince me that hedonism and activism are the same thing. Please, don't disrespect me by insulting my intelligence. Don't p*ss on my foot and tell me there's a rainstorm coming down!

"The 2nd Dumb Dora Awards" concludes with Part Two.